Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize