Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
