I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
