i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
