i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
