sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
