I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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