if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
