That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
