I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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