I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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