Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
