carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
