never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How's work?
Spinning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
