Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize