Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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