This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
