Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize