she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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