You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
