we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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