I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
