So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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