maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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