Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
