Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
