he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
