If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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