You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
