I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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