I'm drive I can fine osifer
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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