Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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