what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
