I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You're like the curious george of whores
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
