You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We are two peas in an std pod
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
