google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
