hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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