Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
