I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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