Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
