You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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