i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
