You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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