Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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