Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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