All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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