Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
