i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
honey bunches of taint.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
