marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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