she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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