I CAN MOONWALK!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
