super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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