just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
