the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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