My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
