his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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