I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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